Give Yourself Permission to Adapt and Thrive

Val:

Hey, this is Val Selby, and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, imposter syndrome, and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Vowel Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it. Hello. Hello. I'm Val.

Val:

Welcome to Val Full Volume. Today, I want it to be all about you. You, you, you, you, yo. Yep. I know it's pretty easy for me to get on here and talk about me and my issues and what I'm going through, and I do that because I want to make sure that you understand you're not alone, that it doesn't matter how long we've been doing this. We still go through the human mind bullshit that tries to drag us down and keep us small, and that's why I share. But it's not about me. We're gonna talk about you.

Val:

You, yo, yo, yo, yo. We are in the 3rd quarter now. 3rd quarter. Can you even believe it? Like, as soon as I started saying that and I said it twice, I went, oh, are we though? Are we? I don't think my brain was to fully recognize acknowledge that we're in the Q3 because holy cow. I know I'm hearing from a lot of you that there's so much going on, and I understand that. I mean, if you've been listening to the podcast, you know, I understand it. I'm feeling it. I'm going through it just like you are.

Val:

Well, not just like you are. I am going through growth and change and the strangeness that is online business right now and all of the adaptions that we're gonna be making. And I am excited to continue to help you make the changes that are gonna be right for you. So 3rd quarter. Where are you at 3rd quarter? Okay. I was gonna say I have to use examples. And when I use examples, I have to use myself because I know me best. So here's old me.

Val:

Couple years ago, I would be getting into Q3 here, and I wouldn't even realize that this was happening. But I'd get into Q3. Nothing's gone right because I wasn't planning correctly. So let's just throw that out there. I wasn't ready to hit my goals because I needed assistance. So I get to Q3, and it's kind of like a this year just sucks anyways. I'm never gonna hit my goals. So subconsciously, my brain would just go into whatever mode.

Val:

And I now and I want you to do this as well. If you're having an issue and you're nowhere near what your milestones should be or what you hoped your milestone would be right now, what you desired, what you planned on it being right now, I want you to take a look at where you are, celebrate what has been done, what you have learned, and adapt your goals. Because if you are looking at your goals going, there's no way I'm gonna hit that at the end of the year, then you can't hit it at end of the year. If you are already telling yourself you can't hit it, then you won't. That is just fact. You will sabotage. You will do everything possible to make sure that you don't hit that goal. So let's give ourselves permission to take a look at that year goal and adapt it.

Val:

Tweak it, change it. Tweaking and changing is what business is all about. It's a constant. There's no set this goal and we get to live forever with, this is the way we do it forever and ever. Amen. See, I said I wasn't gonna go into me. I I almost did. I almost did.

Val:

I'm fighting in so hard not to just go into examples and tell stories. You have permission from everyone, but you need to give yourself permission. You don't honestly give yourself permission. Take a look at what's going on. Take a look at your goals. Take a look at where your milestones were going to be at this point and see how far off from you from them you are. See, sit down with it and pay attention to why are you so far off from them right now? And if you have to write it out why you have to, why you're so far off right now. Things come up, and we'd say we give ourselves permission to let those things come in, but most of the time, we don't.

Val:

We still beat ourselves up. We're just not sitting there like, oh my god. You're so stupid. Blah blah blah in our head. But we have not given ourselves full permission to be okay with things not going the way that we wanted because of whatever else is happening in our life. And when you switch to that, when your mindset switches to, okay, this is just not going to happen. It's just not. I made choices to go and do this and this and this.

Val:

There's no right or wrong. Those were the choices that were made, which means I have to adapt what my goal is now, and I'm going to be okay with that. It might take you a couple of days. Seriously, it could take you a couple of days, but wrap your head around the fact that you need to be okay with the fact that you're with the fact, wrap your head around the idea that it's okay to change your goals, to adapt them. Maybe don't even use the word change. Maybe use the word tweak and adapt. I don't know what's happened in your life in this first 2 quarters. It could have been complete upheaval.

Val:

It could have just been that you were going through some personal stuff in your brain, and maybe nothing even really major happened, but all of a sudden something clicked in your head and you needed to work with it. And it happened. And here we are in Q3, and Q1 happened, and Q2 happened. So where do we wanna go from here? Where do you want to go from here? Now I love the 90 day plans. I really do. I love 90 day plans, setting the milestones. I still have to remind myself that the 90 day plan is try this, look at it, get the facts of what's happening, working, not working, what needs to be worked on, changed, tweaked from those 90 days that I really, really tried, or did I really, really try? If not, then I don't really have facts. Right? I don't have data because I didn't go all in like I had planned, and then I only have half past data.

Val:

So take a look at those 90 days. That's why I like to split it up into 90 days because you look at it, your 90 days does not have to be at the quarter. It does not have to be, okay. We just went into July. Now it's Q3. Here starts again. It's like, no. It could start whenever.

Val:

Just go 90 days out and make that plan, and then you're gonna evaluate 90 days out. Make a plan. Evaluate all towards 1 big goal. That's why I love the 90 days. It's all towards 1 big goal, but each 90 days, you're going to sit there and you're going to evaluate. Did this help me get to my goal? We don't know if it's going to help you get to your goal until you're all in and trying it. You just don't. It doesn't matter that it worked for somebody else.

Val:

It doesn't matter that this person said, build this funnel here. You can just even take my funnel and just use this. This has made me 7 figures. Oh, that's awesome that it made them 7 figures. But what the hell was behind that? How long have they been in business? How big was their list already before they started? There's so much info in there. And the way that they got that, if they're not lying, the way that they got to that 7 figures with that funnel was they built a lot of shitty funnels that didn't work for them. And then they figured it out, and they got to this 1, and this 1 worked for them. It doesn't mean it's gonna work for you.

Val:

I know that sucks. It doesn't mean that you're going to grab their funnel, throw it in your program, and, whoo, here it goes. 7 figures. No. Even if you start with theirs, you're still gonna have to tweak it. Their audience is not your audience. Their products are not your products. They are not you.

Val:

It's totally different. I don't want that to be negative because you know what could happen? You could grab somebody's funnel that made them 7 figures. I'm just throwing this shit out there. They say made it 7 figures, you could make even more. Because you take it, you tweak it, you make it yours, you bring it to your audience, and all of a sudden, maybe it is better wording. And it was the magic that you needed and you start making more money than they do. That can happen as well. But how do we know if that's gonna happen? You get the shit done.

Val:

You get it out there. You test. You tweak. You fail. You succeed. You fail. You succeed. You tweak.

Val:

So it succeeds so the failure succeeds. You keep tweaking. You keep trying that same thing unless you hated it. If you hated it, then don't do it again. But if it's something you're like, yes. I'm all in on this. I'm gonna make that freaking thing work because I know it will work. I know this marketing is good for me to reach my audience.

Val:

That's when you keep tweaking. That's trying. That's when you figure out what your magic code is. Like, what am I missing? That's why coaching is so great. That's why I'm loving my coach right now because I talk about it. I help other people all of the time. I'm helping entrepreneurs figure it out. It's really a lot easier to look at other people's stuff and be able to help them with tweaks.

Val:

But we're invested in our own business, so we need outside eyes to help us. So that's what accountability groups are for. That's what an accountability buddy, a biz bestie, just anywhere. You don't have to be spending money. There's all sorts of wonderful coaches out there that will be an amazing fit. You can follow along for free and get tips from them. Like you're here right now giving you tips. There's so many places and it's just what spot are you in right now? And listen.

Val:

Listen. If you're getting new people and they're coming to you, listen. Why are you feeling drawn to listen to them? What information are you supposed to pull from them? It doesn't mean that you're supposed to pull every bit and follow them exactly. Doing that means that you're looking for the magic answer. And even if you're working on it, you're looking for that excuse. Like, well, but I did everything that they did, and it didn't work. See? This just isn't gonna work. It's not me.

Val:

It's just online businesses at work. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're looking for that excuse. And why do I know that? Because that's what I've done over the years. Over the decades, I have done that multiple times of, I'm gonna go and do this, and I'm gonna follow it to a tee. And then it's their fault. It's not my fault. Like, no.

Val:

It's my fault because I didn't tweak anything, and I didn't follow my intuition, and I didn't follow my gut. I didn't listen to what I knew was right because it's hard if you follow your own stuff and it doesn't work. It makes you feel bad. You gotta sit in the ick. It's like, oh, shit. I thought that was gonna work. And it didn't. But then you get to sit in the shit and realize, oh, okay.

Val:

Wait a minute. What if I tweaked this or tried this and adapted this? What if I just have to do this little, little tweak and then that's the magic? Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's just that little tweak, but you don't know unless you're committing and getting the data. So we're in Q3. Look at what your milestone was supposed to be for Q2. If you're on the quarter system, look at whatever 90 days, your last 90 days, whatever your milestone was supposed to be. Did you hit it? Did you follow your plan? Did you go all in? And be honest with yourself. You're only lying to yourself.

Val:

You're not lying to anybody else because nobody else cares. And I don't mean that to be mean, but nobody else cares as much as you do. We love you. We want you to succeed, but we have to care about ourselves as well and have to put ourselves as top priority. So it's really, really hard for us to go all in like you on your own business. So you're not gonna care as much about mine. It's just the way it is. So it's not me being mean.

Val:

I just want you to understand that nobody's going to care about your business or your life as much as you because you're in it. You're living it. You're creating it. It's a part of you. I mean, that's part of entrepreneurship. Our businesses are a part of us. I know years back, they're just like, oh, you need to separate. I was like, there's no separation.

Val:

You can't. And that was part of my issue was, oh my gosh. Okay. I have to put my business hat on. Okay. Now I'm gonna put my family hat on. It's like, there's 1 hat. Just 1 hat.

Val:

It's just me. You have 1 hat. It's just you. Yeah. There's all these things that you do, and there might be a lot of decorations on your hat, but it's 1 hat. You don't get to take the hat off and then put a new 1 on. It's constantly in our heads. It's constantly in our brains.

Val:

All of it. All of it. It's copying a woman. All of our multiple things that we gotta be doing. Am I right? So when we were told about these silly hats that we needed to be wearing, that was just it might have worked sometime way back. I don't think it works anymore. I don't think it's worked for a really long time. Stop putting on hats and taking off hats.

Val:

Wear 1 hat. Wear your hat and figure out what your hat's gonna look like. What does your hat going to take you into? Okay. I'm gonna have to stop with this hat thing. Not even a hat, girl. Well, let's let the hats go, Val. Let's the hats go. But I do I want you to pay attention that all of the things in our business, in our life, all of that makes us us, and that's what we bring to our business.

Val:

All of it. We bring us to our business. You bring you to your business. That's what's makes your business awesome is no 1 can do your business like you. And it makes it a little scary too, because it's like, oh my god, I am fully in control of this company. That sounded amazing, but now it's real. Okay. So ADAPT.

Val:

Take a look. Be real with yourself. Are you going to hit that 1 year goal? Is it a possibility? If it's still a possibility, but you just gotta put your big girl panties on, then keep going. Don't use it as an excuse. But if you're really far off and you had a lot of stuff going on, adapt and make your goal attainable. Don't sit with a goal that's unattainable because that just creates chaos in your head. Because now you're going towards a goal that you know you can't hit, and it kind of goes like, why am I even gonna bother? I know I can't do that. There's just no way in hell I can do that.

Val:

So sit with it. You're halfway through the year. It's all about you. You get to make changes and adapt and create the business and life that you want. All right. If you need help, if you are very much in a spot in your own brain, believe me, I understand that, and hit me up. Just hit me up. Just hit reply to any of my emails and get on the email list, hit reply to any of my emails, and you will get me.

Val:

I answer all of my own emails, and maybe we'll see if coaching's good, or maybe you just need to have a conversation and get it off your chest. Okay? There's so many different options, But just know that you have permission to adapt and change and run your business, run your company. I want you to run your company like the CEO that you are. It's your company. You get to make it yours 100%. I'll chat at you next week. Bye.