Honoring Your Life and Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Val:

Alright, everyone. I've got a guest today, and I think it's extra, extra, extra funny that when we were talking in the background, is Die, right? I'm sorry. Yeah.

Dia:

Yeah. You nailed it. Yeah. You know, I

Val:

usually say the app that beforehand, but I had it in my head already. I love the fact that as we were talking, you said you live with 3 women, and this is the only way you need to

Dia:

Only time I get words in. You know? That's why I need to podcast. I swear. It's the only way. Like, I I'm just catching up on, like, 20 years and not being able to say what's on my mind. You know? That's that's all.

Val:

Oh my god. So the topics must be just bubbling in your brain.

Dia:

So Well, you know it.

Val:

So so I you guys, obviously, there's gonna be some squirrels happening because, you know, I love squirrels, and I can tell you're a squirrel as well. Yes. I can tell. So

Dia:

Oh, you know what?

Val:

Gonna be fun. Let's see where the hell this even goes. So, would you please just tell my listeners about yourself?

Dia:

young women now. They're now: 1921

Val:

Oh, good.

Dia:

And I've been dating my wife for 23 years, if you can believe it. And, outside of that, I just love to help people navigate change, whether that's through fitness modalities or it's through mental mindset, conditioning, or sometimes it's just having a great conversation to get clear on what our goals, vision, mission, purposes. You know? Because that stuff can be very clarifying, but more importantly, builds confidence us to take the right actions and continuously make those commitments to keep moving forward. And and that's what I love doing, you know, and I do in lots of different ways, which will probably come out in our conversation today.

Val:

Awesome. Yep. Love it. And, of course, you've got squirrels and like to talk because

Dia:

All day long.

Val:

I'm down here in Seattle. So

Dia:

Sweet. We're neighbors. We're neighbors. Yeah.

Val:

My family's actually up there in in the Vancouver area in Chewassen. Cool. Chewassen First Nation.

Dia:

So Tsawwassen's great. Such a beautiful area there.

Val:

Yep. Yep. Yep. So of course. Of course.

Dia:

Of course.

Val:

Of course.

Dia:

Yeah.

Val:

So I love the fact that you've got your fitness stuff that you talk about, but you wrap it in with the mindset.

Dia:

Yes.

Val:

Which shouldn't even be a wrap around. It it should be a.

Dia:

But you know what? I think we're just also used to media. I mean, we've grown up in this, Val. You and I know based on our age and our our our own experiences, and and many, many people have experienced this too. But, I mean, the younger more so because they've grown up and never known a world without it in the way that it is today. But, you know, media projects a lot of things, and and we consume a lot, and the algorithms pick up on that and give us more of it. And we have to think about it. A lot of it is very eye candy, very physical, very much setting sort of expectations that are unrealistic. And and people are always feeling like they're in this state of of comparing themselves to everything else other than asking themselves what makes themselves happy.

Dia:

You know? What what feels right and and trusting that intuition that's in all of us, and and it's a hard place to be. And and so, you know, when you talk about fitness, I mean, fitness is probably one of the worst. Yeah. I mean, I I've been in the fitness industry almost 30 years now. And I'll tell you, going to trade shows, these are people that are ambassadors for health and well-being. And you'd be surprised they are the biggest partiers, and they often live double lives. I was one of them.

Val:

I was one as well. Mission. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. And actually why I got out. Oh.

Val:

I I was a hypocrite.

Dia:

How crazy is that? But but this is very common in the industry, so common. I mean, I call it the filtering effect. Right? It's like the Instagram filter effect where we we show what we wanna show, but we hide everything else. Yeah. And it is very much an iceberg. Mhmm. You know, there's a tip that we like to show, which is all the nice stuff, but it's that other 80% that's below. Yeah.

Dia:

That that's not getting talked about, not getting shared, and this is where vulnerability comes into play. We're getting to own our ownness. You know? Like, owning who we are and who we wanna be and owning that journey Yeah. And doing the things that's gonna move us forward. But let's be fair. It's hard. It is hard. It's confusing.

Dia:

I mean and and there's so many different team views and perspectives and and ideas. And how does one reconcile all that? You know? And so it's hard. It's a hard space to be in, and and I'm doing my darndest to try to help people get more clear, more confidence so they can take the right actions to create the right results.

Val:

Yeah. Because we're all dealing with this human brain. Damn it. Our human brains are a mess. Are a mess, and we assume that our human brain is more messy than everybody else. Right. Because we're not talking about it.

Dia:

It's so funny. Right?

Val:

We were just talking about it in group coaching session today because that's one of the beautiful things about group coaching is all of a sudden you realize, oh my god. That's the same thing I've been thinking. It's, yeah, that's the same thing millionaires are thinking. We're all screwed up. We're all stuck in our head.

Dia:

It's wild. But you're right, though. That's the one thing about when we start to be vulnerable and open and transparent in some of the things that we're feeling or experiencing. Specifically, those voices in the head, they can get really loud at times, and yet we do our darnedest to dampen that noise. Mhmm. Usually, with things that aren't necessarily healthy. Like, for me, that that voice in my mind, I used to I could shut it off if I had a few drinks.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

And so that became my normal. Right? It was at the end of every day. It's like, jeez, I just need to unplug. Yep. And the only way I could unplug was to have a few drinks.

Val:

Yep. And

Dia:

it became a ritual, you know, and it was a big part of my life for, gosh, well over 15 years.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

And it it was challenging because everybody I associated with did the exact same thing.

Val:

Right. So then we can justify it. Right? Yeah. Because everybody's doing it. It can't be bad.

Dia:

It's normal. Yeah. It's normal. Everybody does it. So Yeah. Don't be worried about it. But but also with a lot of the men that I associated with and especially how I was brought up. You know, I'm a man who identifies as a man.

Dia:

And then I look at my connections, the people I would spend the most amount of time with, they were other people that had similar perspectives, were wanting similar things, which is which isn't bad Mhmm. Because, you know, as Jim Rohn once said, we're the net sum of the 5 closest relationships we maintain in our lives. So, you know, we if you want greater results in life, well, get around people that are pursuing great results. You know?

Val:

And Mhmm.

Dia:

And and so change is very realistic and doable. But if some of those habits aren't necessarily productive habits, those can also be highly influenced and reinforced in our regular everyday life to the point where it becomes normal. Yeah. And we don't know anything other than that. And and I'll talk tell you what, being vulnerable and opening up about this concern or these challenges that we were dealing with, especially I was dealing with internally. Mhmm. That was never modeled to me. So I never did it.

Dia:

Yeah. But as soon as I opened up about it, it was crazy. Other guys, other women, other people, human beings started saying, oh, wow. You got that struggle too? Yeah. Jeez. I thought I was the only one that had that problem. And that is the craziest thing. When you start opening up, you start to realize there's so many other people that are having similar experiences.

Dia:

So why not learn how to help each other

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

Rather than try to you know, based on shade, based on that that sort of negative opinion we have of ourselves, based on our choices, our actions, or lack of follow through, we shield ourselves from being vulnerable. Mhmm. You know? And and, hey, I'm not saying I'm an expert in vulnerability, but I'm still working on it. You know? I'm working on it.

Val:

Right. But it isn't it is amazing because and and I know listeners, it's it's part of when you find your expertise as well. Because all of a sudden you're being vulnerable and all of the the stuff that's easy for you starts coming out. It's like, well oh, really? Nobody knew that? What?

Dia:

It's wild. It is absolutely wild. You know? And and I I love Brene Brown because a lot of her teachings are very much in the corporate arena, but it's applicable to the personal arena too. Because I find that all those skills, whoever we are, we're a component of all those things Yeah. Mucked up in 1. Right? So, we have a business part of ourselves. We have a entrepreneurial part. We have a a a parent's really type parts.

Dia:

You know? Like, we we all have these aspects of who we are, but there's so many of them that we don't realize because we never put any time or effort into developing those areas. Right? Like, we get so focused on one thing. Like and I was like that with my business when I first started it. You know? I was just like, this is it. This is where I'm gonna put all my time, my all my energy, family. I'll get to them later. You know, my health, I'll get to that later. Yeah.

Dia:

I gotta focus on this first.

Val:

Yep.

Dia:

And what you realize is that it's really hard to sustain that. Yeah. Because if you're not looking after everything else Yeah. Gosh. It it it falls apart pretty quick.

Val:

Yeah.: 2020

Dia:

Yes. Yes.

Val:

And taking the time off because as entrepreneurs, that is a horrible thing. We, a lot of us are really horrible about that. We talk about we want this 5 hour work week, and then we work 7 days a week.

Dia:

Right? I was like Well, it I had a mentor at one point, point, and he said, hey, Duh. You wanna be an entrepreneur? I'm like, yeah. I wanna be an entrepreneur. Oh, why? Well, because I can, you know, really have control of my calendar, my schedule, and do what I want when I want. He goes, yeah. Well, you're right. When you're an entrepreneur, you only work half time. I'm like, really? He goes, yeah.

Dia:

Either the first 12 hours or the last 12 hours of the day. You know? And I was like, oh, touche. I mean, you know what? Yeah. But he was right. He was absolutely correct. You know? It it's amazing how quickly time gets eaten up. But the there's nothing wrong with that, but I think it's creating the space to also have that harmony between other areas that are important to us. Mhmm.

Dia:

But how do we create harmony? You know? Because I hear people say work life balance all the time, but I don't know. The more I've looked for work life balance, the more I've realized I can't find it.

Val:

Yeah. You know, I had a coach tell me that years ago that, she hates the word balance. And I'm like, whatever. I need it. I need a balance. She's like, nobody's actually s o e keywording looking for the word balance because that's not what they want. I'm like, but we do. Like, it's a lie.

Val:

Balance is a lie because, I mean, if you're present in your life, you're there on whatever you're doing. Right? So it's like, okay. How so how I mean, do you have do do you have tips for this? How do you do the present for each thing and, and start working through the, okay, well, which one's not as balanced? Oh, god. I use the work. But Yeah. No. It does. Out of whack.

Val:

Let's use out of whack.

Dia:

Well, I I I think there's a a few different exercises or ways to sort of shift one's perspective to see this a bit more clearly. And and I think it's always about getting honest with what are our primary values and the things that we're k. Well, do you compromise that belief ever? Do you go against what that belief is? And very rarely do we do that because it makes us feel so guilty, shameful Yeah. And just misaligned.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

Right? Where where, you know, in other terms, we could say, imbalanced. Right? Or Right. Off kilter. Mhmm. And and so we know when we honor our values and we honor our own integrity when it comes to living our values, things seem to run a bit smoother.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

But how many of us take the time to really get clear on what are our primary values? What am I willing to never negotiate on?

Val:

Right. None. No. We I mean, we don't. We we don't do that.

Dia:

We don't even talk about it.

Val:

Right? It's that simple. Right?

Dia:

It is that. And and I hate to to break it, but it it we we need to understand what is it that we honor and truly honor for ourselves and for the people that are most important to us. And, you know, like, so for back in the day, you know, when I was going through that transition, moving away from alcohol, basically saying no to alcohol so I could say yes to the life and the person that I've always wanted to be, but was constantly struggling to attain. Yeah. And I had to get alcohol in the mix to see things clearly. You know? I knew that that was the one thing that was holding me back. Mhmm. But it was a hard crutch to remove, you know, because it was a very good coping mechanism.

Dia:

Mhmm. Yeah.

Val:

Well and it's also that nice little comfort zone block of, okay. Well, I'm not getting to my greatness, and it's technically not my fault. Right?

Dia:

Well and and that's yeah. You're absolutely right. Because I I was very good at making excuses, and it was everybody else's fault, not my own. I don't know anybody in the fitness industry that's not amazing at making excuses.

Val:

We use them all. That's why they can't use them on us.

Dia:

That's true. It's true. I I mean and there's always the same ones coming again and again. And as I moved away from sort of the drinking and started to think about, well, I've always said I wanna be this kind of man. And I've always wanted to be a great man, great father, great husband. What does that mean, actually? You know? And he because he said wonderful idea.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

But until we break it down into actual, what does that mean, and why do I want that? But going through that exercise and that inquisition internally, you start to realize it's like, you know what? Family is one of my core values. Mhmm. I'm not gonna negotiate on that. Mhmm. And so as I was leaning into this new venture and I sort of left an old industry of 17 years to to go and pursue other things, I I realized very quickly that opportunities will present itself, but it would start to compromise my family value. Meaning, it might require me to travel for a a couple weeks a month, or I might have to go away and speak at an event, and it's not gonna be an in and out kind of an event. I might be I need to be there for 5 days. And it's like, but does this really align? I I moved away from what I was doing professionally before so I could do something else that allowed me to honor my family more.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

And And so as we get clear on these values, we can start to say yes and say no rather than these constant collection of maybes. Yeah. You know? Or tomorrow. I'll do that tomorrow. Right? And you reach into your pocket, and it's like, man, I've used that excuse about a 100 times. Oh, wow. Look. I emptied my pockets.

Dia:

All I've got are these empty yesterdays or these empty promises to myself. And that is not a very fulfilling feeling. Right. But you have to lock in on the feeling to know how to move away from it. Mhmm. And it's very simple. You know, get clear on those visions or those values. And for me, it's family, fitness, faith, finances, and always an overarching roof of fun.

Dia:

Mhmm. So I have 5 s. And they're my filters.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

You know, I pass every decision through those filters.

Val:

Nice.

Dia:

And it's helped things it helped me be better connected to myself, but also it's the people that matter most to my life. Yeah. You know?

Val:

Excellent. And this is so good because I work with I mean, because obviously as a mom, I've I've worked over the years with so many moms, And I came to terms with, you know, a few years ago that, of course, I would drop everything at any time and go be mom. Because that was always my top core is family is just at the top. I will I will drop everything. It's like, done. Cancel cancel the day. But I work with so many women and we beat ourselves up about it because we wanted to be there for the family. And that's that's a core, but we're not paying attention to it being that much of a core.

Val:

And but we didn't get this done in our business, and we didn't get that done in our business. So then we beat ourselves up. It's like, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. You know? It's like like you said, that was a core thing. That's top level.

Val:

That's more important. So what's your top levels? What's what's your core? What are your f's everyone out there? You know, how how can you get it down to that simple?

Dia:

And I that's a great question or statement. There's an exercise I use, and I I I like to sort of I mean, it's part of the writer. I mean, I like alliteration for 1. That's why there's a 5 s. But Yeah. But, also, I I like the idea of metaphor or simile and helping us take complex ideas and simplify them in a way that we can understand them, but more importantly, do something with it. You know? And so I always envision people. Imagine your life is a home or a house, your typical one.

Dia:

Like, remember when we were kids, we would draw a house to be a square? Yeah. And then a triangle over it with some green grass on it. Right? Like, super simple. So you take that idea and you've got 4 walls. Right? Each wall is gonna be a value. It sits on the foundation because we know the foundation is so critical. Without a solid foundation, it doesn't matter what kind of structure you erect. It's gonna be on a stable ground.

Dia:

So that first major event or catalyst that rocks our lives will make that wall or walls lose integrity and start to fail, or we start to feel like we're failing in those areas. But, of course, there's also an overarching roof. Right? And so I like to use the 4 walls and use s for those. And then the ceiling, obviously, the roof is fun. Fun. Mhmm. Faith, finances, family. But here's the the secret part that I always like to reinforce is my foundation upon which everything is built is health.

Dia:

Mhmm. You know? And and I'll go as far to say mental health, spiritual health, physical health, financial health. Like, it just being healthy and resilient. Because if you play on this analogy a little bit, whatever your 4 walls and roof are, I I would argue that probably everyone's foundation is gonna be some sort of health metric because without health, it's I mean, when you're really sick or you deal with chronic issues, like chronic pain, chronic stress, I live with chronic autoimmune condition. Mhmm. You know, there's days where it's really hard. Mhmm. You know? And it's what we do on those days that are really hard that matters most.

Val:

Yes.

Dia:

But to get that clarity, get that confidence, we need to understand what is the structure I'm trying to maintain and strengthen. Yeah. Because, let's just say a tornado comes into my home. Right? Maybe it's I got a tax bill. I'm like, my financial wall right now just I just found out I got a bunch of termites. I gotta do something here. You know? I gotta reinforce that wall so I can have better resilience against future financial strains that might present itself. Mhmm.

Dia:

And so you can apply this modality or this train of thought to those areas in your life that you wanna honor, but maybe you feel like you're not honoring to your fullest potential. Right. And so that's what I invite people to think about. Just draw that simple little graphic. I mean, gosh, I'm the worst artist there is. So if I can do it, anybody can do it. And and just figure out what are those walls? What is the ceiling? And if you struggle with figuring out what your values are, Val, I know you support people with this. So check out Val and how she can help you with this, or Brene Brown's got some tools as well.

Dia:

Mhmm. You know, there's a lot of tools out there to help you get clear on what your visions are. Yeah. And and it's a process of elimination, just so you're aware. You'll get this list of, like, 200 values, and you'll go and you'll probably circle the first 40. Yes. And you gotta eliminate 10. Yeah.

Dia:

Eliminate another 10. Eliminate another 5. You know? You can get down to that core group of 5. And if it feels right, lean into that more Yeah. And see what happens. And it'd be amazing what happens. It's just Yeah. Everything changes.

Dia:

You know, it all changes.

Val:

You know, I'm I'm kinda I'm giggling in my head a little bit because I'm realizing how much our generation is making change because we weren't taught any of this stuff. And we were, we were instant society. I mean, growing up with the eighties happening, you had instant success, you had instant everything, the internet, when we were there at the beginning, everything's instant. And I really noticed that so many in our generation now are doing that. You know what? It might take you a couple of days to go through your list of 200.

Dia:

Correct.

Val:

Breathe, and it's gonna be okay.

Dia:

It's gonna be okay. Absolutely. I mean, it it'd be some of the most worthwhile work you ever do. Yeah. Because we're also talking about quality of life moving forward.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

You know, right from this moment, when you draw the line on the ground and you decide to step over, you'll realize if you turn around, you can see that track that you've tracked to get to that point. Yeah. But the cool part is everything in front of you, there's no footprints yet. No. You get to choose where you go. You get to choose what you do in the moment, which is gonna either propel you forward or maybe take you back.

Val:

Right.

Dia:

But you're never gonna stay in the same place. I hope anyone realizes that because the more you try to keep things as exactly as they are, Buddha said, this too shall pass whether it's the good things or the the bad things or the great things in life, those 2 shall pass.

Val:

Yep. Because the worst will get worse if you're just gonna sit in the muck.

Dia:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. I I remember that that same mentor, I remember him telling me once. He's like, yeah. You know, some of these gurus because I was contemplating, you know, just looking for a new coach. Right? And and, like, he's like, be cautious, Ty, because a lot of these people, you know, they're saying the right things. They're presenting themselves a certain way, and a lot of these people really think they got their shit together. Mhmm.

Dia:

And I'm like, yeah. I know. That's why I wanna hire 1. He goes, well, just so you know, all these people that think they got their shit together, just view if they look down, they'll just see that they're standing in it. You know? Like Yeah. And when he said that to me, I was like, oh, man. That's pretty good. I like that.

Dia:

I'll I'll I'll I'll use that. Thank you. You know? And Yeah.

Val:

And if they're not willing to tell you that they're standing in it, you know, that's that's the issue. You know? I I it sounds like you're very similar to the fact that I'm taking people on the journey with me. I'm never gonna say that I've got all of this down or perfect. I'm learning just as much from my coaching clients as they're learning from me. You know? Like, yeah. I screw up.

Dia:

The way it should be. Right? Yeah. But that's that's the way it should be. You know? Like, I I I think we all have our faults, but the faults are what make us who we are. And it's not a limitation. Yes. Yes. Thank you.

Dia:

It's right. It's not a limitation. It is in fact something that we can overcome, we can improve on, but it does take effort.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

And that's what we have to realize about our weaknesses. The areas that we're not as strong or as confident, they're gonna require more focus and intention and time, activity to see them strengthen. We all have natural strengths, and we like to work in those areas of natural strength. Like, you know this from fitness. Right? You'd have the, I have these guys that I'll coach. Right? And they're like, can we bench press today? I'm like, dude. You bench press, like, freaking every day. No.

Dia:

Like, we're not benching. We're squatting today. We're doing some dead lifts. Like, we're gonna do some other functional movement, but you're not bench pressing. In fact, I don't want you to bench press again for 3 months. You know? Like, no. Because we always wanna do the things that we like and we feel is best.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

And that we're best at because it makes us feel good. And I'm not opposed to that. Do a little bit of what makes you feel good. But don't forget about the stuff that's in the weeds over there that you're ignoring because that area, if you improve that, other than that you do really good at, it's all of a sudden you come in really great at. Yep. Because when we strengthen the weakest link, the rest of the chain's integrity gets stronger.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

Same applies for our life. As we work on those values, work on those systems that are part of our life, you gotta work on the weaknesses first. You know? Use the best energy, best intentions to work on that first. Yep. You know? And and and I'm not saying work on all of them. Just pick 1.

Val:

Yeah. Like Yeah. Exactly.

Dia:

List of things I'd love to change. Right? But pick 1.

Val:

Yeah. I I did that a few years ago because, I mean, as a talker, I wasn't a very good listener.

Dia:

Oh, interesting.

Val:

And so I actually that set that as a a thing. I had to start becoming a better listener. And what in the world does that mean? You know?

Dia:

Yeah. Right.

Val:

But But becoming a better listener made me so much better coach, better human, you know, better mom, you know, because I wasn't always thinking of my response, which was what was happening previously. I was like, oh god. I have to have the right answer. I have to tell everybody what to do. That's awesome. Fault.

Dia:

I think we've all had that that experience, you know, as coaches, as mentors, as people that support others through changes. Like, we we have to recognize that we're all on the same or a similar hero's journey. Right? Like, we're on a a somewhat of a hero's journey, and we meet people along the way that support us Okay. To see things just a little bit differently, you know, see our own see ourselves differently. Because when when our internal perspective shifts, it's amazing how our world view changes very quickly. Yeah. And and the cool thing is is a lot of us make it to the top of that first hill, and when inevitably, we turn back and we look down the hill, and it's like, oh my gosh. That's where I started.

Dia:

Look at how far I've gone. But you know what? There's 20 other people down there right now that need some help up.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

I'm gonna down. I'm gonna help guide them a little bit to get to where I am right now.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

And in doing so, it's very interesting because as as coaches, we often go back. We go back through the things that we struggled with, and we become masterful at those things. Mhmm. Because we've been through it again and again and again, and now we've helped others through it. And and it's it's awesome. It's such a fulfilling career path. You know? And and I'm not talking just coaches or mentors. I'm talking to teachers and sports coaches.

Dia:

Mhmm. I mean, everybody has that mentorship ability in them.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

It's just are we applying it? Are we using it to support others navigate similar challenges that we ourselves have navigated? Right. Some do, some don't. That's okay.

Val:

And it can be hard because I know one of the issues is all if if you're going back to help at the very beginning, like the first few times that you do it, you you go back to help and you're in it. I mean, you are feeling it. Yeah. Totally triggered. You're feeling it. And I have to say from what you're what what you're also saying is in and it gets better.

Dia:

Yes.

Val:

And it's it's not so mucky. And and then you help more people. I mean, that's how that's how coaching grows and, like, becomes this thing. Right? You addiction. Yes. Total addiction.

Dia:

It it's great. I I I love it. I absolutely love it. I know you love it, and and, you know, it's not always perfect. I've worked with people where, you know, I I've had to take it on the chin a little bit. And what I mean by that is, you know, I've realized that and this is, you know, from early on as a coach, as a mentor. I I realized that just because I've done some doesn't mean everybody else can do it the way that I did it. Yeah.

Dia:

And that was the realization. I had to get to that place though to really understand that. It was just my naivety as I ventured into that space. Right? And, and I think it was very telling for myself because I started to recognize where all my limits were. Not realizing they were there, but they were there, very apparent. But being okay with that and recognizing it's okay, it just means I gotta work on it a bit. Mhmm. I gotta work on me.

Dia:

Mhmm. You know, change the inputs if you wanna change the outputs. I mean, the scientific method is very basic. You know, it's like very factual based, very data driven. You know, if you got certain things going into your life, going into your mind, well, it's gonna affect what's coming out. You know? And Yep. So if you don't like the outcomes that you're receiving in life, start looking at what's inputting into your life every day.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

Because the the secret's there. Yeah. And it's not really a secret. You just gotta pull back the the sheet, and you'll be like, woah. There's a lot of stuff I do in the day that's holding me back. Man, what if I just stop doing that one thing every day that just keeps getting snagged on? You know, for me, it was alcohol. And like we removed that. It was amazing how smoothly things started to move forward for me.

Dia:

Right. You know?

Val:

Nice. Yeah. What you're talking about, I actually call uncoaching. Oh, cool. I was sitting in a group coaching session, and all of a sudden, I just was regurgitating information from my coaches with 0 thought. 0 thought is just flowing out. I'm and I'm all of a sudden, my brain went I had just talked about it in email. I'm like, my brain went, why do you why do you believe this way? And, I mean, I we I process that in the group coaching session with everybody, because I'm like, okay.

Val:

We've got something blowing up right now. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just gonna talk out loud. Yeah. Totally. Work through this. I'm like, because I'm just realizing how much I'm regurgitating information I was told, and that has nothing to do with your life or even my life.

Dia:

Yes. Not even my life as a matter of So good.

Val:

That was somebody's view.

Dia:

That's such a huge awareness, though. Right? Like, when you develop that self awareness, it's it's great because then you could start to identify the areas where you want to see change. Yeah. And I think that's the problem with change a lot of the time is we we spend so much time in life trying to avoid change. Yeah. We forget that change isn't necessarily a bad thing. No. You know? Like, it it happens all the time.

Dia:

I get it. The more you fight against change, the more you're gonna be frustrated and disappointed because it's gonna happen whether you like it or not. So Yeah.

Val:

The the kids grew up. Right? I mean, we never have a choice.

Dia:

We're open nesters now, my wife and I. And I'm like, holy smokes, you know. And and I'm sorry. I should I heard somebody else use the term open nesters the other day, and I forget where I saw it. But, you know, we were using the term empty nesters. Like, no. No. No.

Dia:

No. It's an open nest. It is. Because they can come back. They can go again. And now we're ready to receive more. You know? And and so I love that openness. A great

Val:

shift. Right? Yeah.

Dia:

That was cool. Yeah. But where I was going with this is once you can identify that and really own that, but not feel any shame or blame or anything. It's just like, this is very much radical self compassion. Right? Like, it's like, no. I love myself. I know this is a limitation of mine. It didn't happen by accident.

Dia:

I helped curate this, you know, based on what I've done and the people I've connected with and the things that I understand right now. Maybe the belief that's got me here isn't gonna serve me to move to the next phase of my life. Right. So what do I need to leave behind? You know, that that that baggage, do you wanna keep rolling it along? Like, I got the roller bag. It's only got 3 wheels. Man, I hate dragging that thing. You know, like, I'd rather just ditch that and leave it and go as a minimalist forward in life. And Mhmm.

Dia:

And that's sort of the thing that with my wife, my my kids, like, we've really adopted that mentality, but it didn't come by accident. It it it was designed and intentional.

Val:

Yeah.

Dia:

You know? And and I think that there's power in that. I mean, if we wait for change to happen, we might be waiting a very long time.

Val:

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We've gotta make we're we we are always making choices.

Dia:

True.

Val:

Not making a choice is a choice. Correct.

Dia:

Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you, Val. Val. Spot

Val:

on. Totally. Exactly. So

Dia:

so make

Val:

the choices for what we want to create. Perfect. Oh, gosh. Okay. So I knew

Dia:

I knew we'd be able

Val:

to go on forever and ever. What would you like to leave the listeners with? Oh. The last thought.

Dia:

Jeez. Well, you know, my my invitation to everyone is is if you think about your 24 hour day, we all got the same time to play with. We had a 168 hours a week, 365 days a year with all exception this year, we get 360 6. But wait. Actually, that's tomorrow, isn't it? Yeah. Tomorrow's a week. Tomorrow's our

Val:

extra day. Yeah. Oh,

Dia:

no. And, and it's like, I don't think I'm getting paid for that day. No. But, so, you know, we all have the same amount of time. But time is never seen as a tangible because it's not. It's intangible. I mean, it's a construct in our minds. I mean, sure, we have ways to measure it, but, again, it's all very constructed.

Dia:

And and time is very fluid. Right? Like, we we lose time at times when we're having so much fun. We find ourselves in a flow state. And then there's other times, like, I remember back school looking at the clock. Is it 3 years? When do I get to go home? I swear I've been looking at that clock. It's taken 12 hours to get through 6, you know, and and it's this relationship that we have. But all that being said, I invite people to look at their time as a percentage. If every 24 hours is a 100% of your day, could you give yourself 2% as a nonnegotiable commitment every day to do the thing that you know by doing that thing, it moves your life one step forward? Mhmm.

Dia:

And they I know people are, like, doing the math. They're like, 2% of. Oh, wait. 28.4 minutes, and I just round it up. I call it 30 minutes, right, or the 2% solution. And and this is this idea, like and I'm not the answer, but there's people out there that have done things that you yourself wanna do. Well, go and see what were some of those habits that helped them get there and commit 30 minutes a day to start doing some of those habits. Make it nonnegotiable.

Dia:

It is something that's important for you, but you're gonna see that that compounding effect over time, and it doesn't take very long, will have a huge impact on not only your life, but the life of those that you your that are most important to you.

Val:

Mhmm.

Dia:

And and so that's my invitation, everybody. Is this look at your calendar 30 minutes a day for the thing that you know you've been putting off doing and start doing it.

Val:

And you know what it is. Because it it popped in your brain as soon as you heard him say that. It popped in your brain. And that's the thing. That's the thing right there. Perfect. Oh my gosh. So everyone, you know, if you connected, you connected, and everything will be in the show notes for you to go and visit and find out more information and see how you can work with Di.

Val:

Thank you for being here so much. This is awesome.

Dia:

Thank you, Val. And I just have to commend you. You know? I I I got a chance to totally creep you online, and, I love everything that you're doing, but but more importantly, how you're making an impact. Yeah. Not only with your show and and and your content, but just the way that you show up to serve every day. And I just wanna say it was a real treat to be here, and I feel honored and very, very lucky to have had this conversation with you today. And and, thank you. Thank you for this experience.

Dia:

It's been awesome.

Val:

Yeah. I can't wait to share you out there with more people in the world. It's wonderful. Thank you so much.

Dia:

Thank you, Val.