The Truth Does Not Hurt

Val:

Hello. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Day. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm Val Val Selby of doubtful volume and, over here promoting my website, Bundle Bash, where we work on collaboration.

Val:

I work on collaboration all day, every day, 247. I am Thinking it, feeling it, breathing it. It's my zone of genius. And man that was amazing to finally figure out because the more I was trying to figure out what my zone of genius was The more I felt like an idiot who's like, you know, just like in The Big Leap, the book, where that the zone of genius for me kind of came from, I was just like, I mean, he's got parts in there talking about it. It's like, I just don't have one. It's like, whatever and you know things like things just at least for me maybe for you as well. The harder I'm looking for something, the more the harder it is to find it as as far as mental stuff, because I'm searching so hard. I want it so bad.

Val:

Just give me the dead, sir. I just want the answers. Let's just go right to the the the end and and give me the answers. And we're not talk I don't wanna talk about zone of genius today. You know, if if you've been here, you know, just squirrel pops out at all times. But what I do want to talk about is, is a lot of this new direction that I'm feeling we're going to edge on down. It's still gonna be all collaboration. It's still gonna be entrepreneurs.

Val:

It's all about mindset. It's all about mindset. Life is about mindset. It is a 100% about mindset and how are we going to go through any of the the shit, the bullshit, the garbage, the amazing stuff, how are we gonna go through it? What's our choices? Even when there's horrible things going on, and I'm talking in an adult sphere. Okay? Even when there's horrible things going on, we have choices. And It was popping in my head. I actually have some podcast topics down, but I really wanted to, Well, you're an entrepreneur. When you get a little bit stuck, how often are you looking to remodel your house? So for me, my go to is always like, oh, I should do a site rebranding or I should do other streaming.

Val:

That is my go to. I know it's a flag. 100% own it, know it. It is a flag. It's been a flag for years, and thankfully, it's a flag that it pops up and I'm like, alright. What's what's happening? What's going on? Because I know that, yes, there are times to do that. Absolutely. But I know when it pops up that I have to question.

Val:

I have to ask myself what's going on. But I know I know I've been going through so much this year and if you've been listening again for a while. You know there's been a huge journey that I've been on. I mean huge. And I was at, so quick little story. I was just on vacation with my well, I was on vacation. My husband had a work trip. I was on vacation enjoying the room by the lake because somebody should enjoy that paid for room.

Val:

Right? So I was on vacation and when I was looking at places around the area there was a lady who does massage therapy and also does oh I'm not gonna pronounce the word right Defination? She does you know Card readings and, she uses the tuning fork when we're doing the massage and a whole bunch of other stuff just a whole bunch of stuff but she's a psychic on top of it and I'm like oh yeah that's I want that to happen that has to happen but I worked on not being attached to it because I know if I get super attached then, I will just be disappointed. So I called and it was kinda last minute and of course she's booked right? And I was like okay well I'm still gonna treat myself I'm going to a pedicure so I did that Alright. I scheduled that and I woke up the morning of my pedicure and, the lady's just like, I had a cancellation. Do you want it? I'm like, oh, hell yeah. Because are you talking are you telling me That there's a last minute cancellation on my last day that I am there. Talk about meant to be. Right? I am like, uh-huh. I have to be there Now for sure have to be there so cancelled the other appointment, went to do that and I am, I'm not skeptical.

Val:

However, I have been to some psychics that were more crackpot than psychic, So I do go in without a lot of, I well no when we're starting the conversation I think I've seen 3 or 4 specifically seen 3 or 4 and I go into it without adding a lot to the conversation and even like I've been to a good one before, a decent one. I felt it was good, because like I said I haven't been to that many, before and even they were still asking a little bit of questions. This lady wasn't asking questions. She wasn't asking questions. She, you know, she asked how we're how I wanted to do the reading. 4 different different ways and and, how how we're gonna do the reading and then, I was expecting, you know, I was gonna throw the coins, and I was expecting her to say, you know, because I she's she's saying, okay. Well, I want you to, you know, think about the the topics that you want and then every time you throw them you're gonna get a little bit more detailed in your in your questions of of what's going what's going on the knowledge that you want to know about this topic and so she didn't say do I ask it out loud or in my head and I so then I asked her I'm like I'm I'm I'm just sitting here and thinking it in my head right she's like uh-huh I'm like oh man because she doesn't know when I'm asking it right well, I mean, I'm not voicing it out loud and, everything that was coming up was so spot on so spot on. And, just to keep this a little this part a little bit short, the The major thing out of it is I have a major thing coming up.

Val:

Obviously, that could be good. It could be not so good. It's just going to be, but it's going to be absolutely major. And she said that that's why right now I'm treading water. And I know this, right? All of you that have been with me, following me on my newsletter list. Bless you, thank you, you have helped me immensely as I've been going through all of this but I've been treading water because so much has been going on that I knew making major decisions it just it is a poor time to be making major decisions but I know that I need to on on some things and I know I know something's coming up I just know this So I decided I had to get my health in order, like, it was it was not like previous years where I've been like, oh, I need to be better, I need to be healthier. It It feels it feels like this is a must. Like, I have to get healthier.

Val:

And this was a 75 minute conversation with this lady. Actually, it was a little bit more because we kinda went into my massage appointment. Needless to say, of course, she and I hit it off, so we're talk, talk, talk. But I There's that, there's the treading water and this is why and she said yes this is why you feel like you need to be doing this, You know, and this is a lot into her doing the reading not me conversing with what I have a feeling of what she's talking about or my Thoughts on what she's talking about over half of this was just her telling me things right and and picking out the things that were she was feeling even stronger. And the breakthrough is coming. It's coming soon. She did have some feelings about what it could potentially be. Some of it's gonna be really yucky, and the best thing that I got out of not the best thing.

Val:

There was a there was no one best thing. One of the amazing things that I got out of this is this was a woman that doesn't know me. I I walked in. I just met her I texted her a couple times that was it and and my reading was about the fact and I'm going to be coming into my power and that power is specifically going to be needed in this breakthrough moment of what's coming up. Now I know and when I've worked with clients I know that when we are using our power, and don't don't worry, I'm not getting too woo woo on you, that we were in our power, that we're using our zone of genius, when we are doing what we know we need to do Is when shit gets done, and we're happy about it. We're like, this is what has to happen, and I'm the one that's going to make it happen because this is my life and that leads me to a a directional change. No? I like I said, I don't think it's a directional change. I think this is what I've been talking about.

Val:

Just a little subtext change of the truth doesn't hurt. The truth doesn't hurt. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. Where the hell did that even come from? I feel like I need to Google that right this second. Where did the quote the truth hurts comes from I know.

Val:

You're gonna have to watch. I I have to. The truth hurts. Quote because it's ridiculous! Oh, there's so many different variations of the truth hearts. Okay. I'm gonna have to look that up. It is, what do I wanna say here? That quote is not helpful. That quote is not helpful for anything because nobody wants to hurt, right? Nobody wants to hurt and it makes some people that could be close to us kind of live that quote right where they're like Well, I kinda knew that that might not be a good idea, but I didn't wanna hurt your feelings.

Val:

Oh, blah blah blah. And I know that that is why so many people throughout my years have not wanted to possibly be around me, possibly work with me, because of this whole concept that the truth hurts. Let's talk about that. The truth hurts. Let's I even wrote down I even got a little post it note. I wrote down 2 things of the bullshit of the truth hurts because the truth does not hurt. Ignoring the truth hurts like a son of a bitch. If you ignore the truth.

Val:

And that means you're, that means I believe me. I, I, I, I was the queen of denial. I had a gorgeous yacht on the river denial for decades. I used to invite anybody over Who wanted to live in denial with me? I was the queen. I absolutely loved loved loved Denial because living in denial and ignoring the truth means you can just live in your little safe bubble of pretending and it all comes crashing down, it will. It absolutely comes crashing down at some point or another, So ignoring the truth hurts. Ignoring it that means that you are not dealing that means I mean, I'll give you all of my ways that I like to ignore the truth. When a Netflix binge is hitting hard.

Val:

I know I'm ignoring something. I am ignoring something. I don't want to do it. I'm putting it off. Why? That's when I have to really analyze why. Sometimes it can be that I've been on the computer for way too long, way too many days in a row, and I do need to decompress and then that's okay but I have to pay attention. I have to pay attention to is that the truth that I need the downtime, or do I not wanna go and create that new product that I know I need to and the deadline's tomorrow? Never have I ever. So I have to pay attention to that.

Val:

If what am I ignoring? I'm so much better at this because I went through the years of laughing. That's that's my go to making jokes. That's my that's my go to. As soon as I start making a lot of jokes A lot of times about something that I am doing. It starts sinking in that, oh, this is my This is my method of avoidance. Here it is. It's not a red flag. It's kind of like a pinkish flag It starts popping up that one takes me a little bit longer because I am a smartass that one does take me a little bit longer but Again, the truth doesn't hurt.

Val:

Ignoring the truth does hurt. Ignoring the fact that you need to make changes, that you know that these changes need to happen that you're making yourself miserable doing the same thing over and over again I had a past episode. Oh, gosh. I cannot remember the past episode now. It might have been a little while ago now, But I talked about the fact that you could be in the wrong business. You could be. And it's okay to come to the terms. It's okay to realize that you are in the wrong business, wrong direction.

Val:

It's important to notice because you don't wanna keep doing the same things over and over again just because you feel like you have to. And I know changing direction in a business is hard. I've done it multiple times, and the work that you've put into it. It can feel like now you've wasted all those years. Like, you've wasted that time building this business, and now you don't even wanna do it anymore. Let me tell you from my experience because I had to work through that. I totally had to work through that to get to right now where I am in my zone of genius. If I hadn't had those businesses before and put in that work and the heartache of the failing and succeeding and what did not work and what I feel like I failed at.

Val:

If I hadn't put that in, I wouldn't be right here right now doing what I'm doing because I wouldn't have figured out where my zone of genius is. So don't ignore the truth. Don't ignore the truth because it's gonna help you figure out other directions that you might wanna go, and they don't have to be giant direction changes. They could just be little changes. And that leads me to my second one. The truth does not hurt, but choosing a path even though you know better hurts. So choosing to say in a business that you know you don't wanna do anymore, that you know you're not passionate at all about, you know, you don't give a fuck about. That hurts.

Val:

Figuring it out doesn't hurt. Sticking in it. Staying in it. That does hurt. Staying in a relationship that you know is unhealthy for you. That hurts. Figuring out the truth? The truth does not hurt. The truth does not hurt.

Val:

That's going to high. Let's use another quote. That's gonna set you free. I'm not gonna go try and find much more. I promise. I promise I won't be trying to get all the cheesy quotes out. But for real, choosing a path that you know that you know you feel it in your gut isn't the right direction that's what hurts that's what ends up being the wasteful time and we don't have time for that. We have to we have to pay attention to the science.

Val:

We have to go with our gut in a lot of ways because our brains our brain is still telling our gut what we want as well. We're still gonna have that conversation rolling of, oh, but I really feel like doing this, and our brains can be like, oh, but why we're so safe right here. Let's just stay right here, do exactly what we've done forever and ever and ever where we're safe. Let's do that. That's where it's gonna hurt. That's where you're gonna wake up 10 years down the road, 15 years down the road, 20 years down the road, and go shit. I knew 20 years ago, I didn't wanna be doing this. I didn't wanna be doing that, and I still dig it.

Val:

That's what's gonna hurt is looking back on it. So I don't wanna get too deep. I know this is all probably getting dig a little bit deep right now. I understand because that's where I'm at right now. I am reading some really great self help books. I am I am not I am not taking anything off the table right now, in in directions. But for once, I'm also not jumping around the table. I'm not jumping on top of the table, screaming, alright.

Val:

I'm gonna switch directions and do this. I mean, everything that I am feeling right now as far as Choosing directions is still in a similar lane. I might just be adding a lane. I don't know if that even makes sense. Oh, it doesn't. I saw it in my head, but don't think saying it out loud makes any sense. My focus, there's still a singular focus that I have of what I want to do and what I wanna accomplish, with bundle dash. It's just I feel a little boxed in, and I'm not quite sure what that even means.

Val:

I am completely just, scrolling right now. No. It's not squirrels. I am just completely, like, having a brainstorm with you right now as if we were in a full conversation, but, you know, I get to talk to myself, so there's Really no arguing. So to bring it all back, I want you to pay attention to the fact that the truth does not hurt. The truth does not hurt. Paying attention to the truth, choosing to go more with your gut, map it out on paper. I mean, we can be a little bit more analytical about this for sure.

Val:

It's something I have to pay attention to because I have had plenty of times where I just run with my gut and then all of a sudden I'm going, oh my god, where the hell am I? You know? What did I create? And how do I fix this mess that I created for myself? So I there's there's does need to be a balance of me map when I'm doing it of me going, okay. This is this is what sounds amazing. This is what feels good. I would like to do this. Okay. Well, let's make a pros and cons and see where the brainstorming goes with the pros and cons. It's not that I'm talking myself out of it. It's more of I'm talking myself into a focus so that I can get it accomplished, so I can do the change of direction for the the tweak of direction.

Val:

So hopefully some of this hit. So hopefully some hopefully some of this is helpful. I know even with my notes that I was a little bit blah blah blah here there here there. Oh, this happens when you come back from vacation. Right? I have so much popping in my head right now, but The truth does not hurt. Let me leave you with this. The truth does not hurt. Ignoring the truth hurts, and choosing a path even though you knew better, That also hurts.

Val:

Okay? So it does come down to you know what's good for you. You do. You really, really do. We've just been taught we we we've never been taught to be adults. We were we were We were taught things as a kid. You can tell I'm going through so many self help books right now, right? So let me not go there. Reining in, Val. We only have the tools that we have and that is okay.

Val:

We can always get new tools. Right and always get more tools but you need to trust yourself Trust yourself. You know what you want. You know how to go and get it. You have a lot more knowledge in you than you give yourself credit for, and you can succeed At that goal of what you want, you can. And, in fact, you're the only one that can. Some of us can come in and help you. We can point you in the direction, but it's up to you.

Val:

It's up to you to know what you want to do and to go after it and to go balls in. All in of making it happen. And I even come back on here and go, oh, yeah. Look what I did. I look what I did. I decided I decided to have some truth and I made it happen. Check-in with me. Alright.

Val:

I'll talk to you next week. Have a great one.